Monday, December 19, 2005

the fabric of life

yesterday, a strange thing happened. for the first time in my life, i was very close to giving up; giving up on something that was most important to me. at the time, i didn't think much about it; i just felt like walking out, like letting go, like moving on.
i don't know why i didnt, but i didn't give up. i decided to hang on to the very last thread and giving it another shot. they say life is a fabric composed of different threads we sew together. well, if i said i, as a person was a fabric, then this was the needle i had chosen to help sew my life. i'm glad i didn't discard the needle, even though it was close to being blunt. perhaps, you need the needle to become blunt to shake your life into perspective. maybe it's god's way of jolting you back into reality, of re-examining your decisions and yourself. it's really hard to come to the realisation that one of the threads in the fabric called you, needs to be pulled out, or, sewn in a different colour. sometimes, it's not even about the threads, but about allowing the fabric to be draped on differently.

today, i realised, it's not about my threads; the colours are great and the design, in its absurd fashion, works just the way it is. ..sometimes it doesn't have to be about my fabric, or my threads... it's just about not giving up...just for now...


Nabeel said...

well .. giving up has a very complex meaning in various situations.

Soliders gave up hope for victory, prisons give up hope for freedom.

The above is different then sportsmen giving up hope for a victory, a fisherman can give up hope for catching a fish.

and ofcourse, a lover can give up hope on his lover .. and so on. Do you see and understand the difference?

Some giving up are extreme and really matter, some we've seen since centuries.

NZH said...

i see the difference nabeel, unfortunately it was about giving up on one of the make-n-break life issues, like prisoners giving up hope for a victory.

Nabeel said...

prisoners giving up hope for freedom .. not victory :)

mehfish said...

we should! (have a reunion) ... things go well alhamdulillah!

about the thread: yeah sometimes life can be the hardest thing that way ... forcing you to let go of that (perfect?) design you had planned and start with a different thread, a different viewpoint ... im glad you didnt give up. :)